Dear Me

A couple of weeks ago I saw some YouTubers doing videos about a letter to their younger self so today I thought I'd join in the #DearMe campaign and write a letter to my 14 year old self. Here goes!

Dear 14 year old me,

I want you to know how proud I am of you, your strength is often underestimated and let me assure you this- you're doing okay, kid. Your confidence is constantly improving! 

I don't want to give you any major spoilers about the next few years of your life, I know you hate surprises as you have control issues but I know you love adventure and I don't want to ruin this one for you. Don't worry though, I'll give you a few subtle hints to prepare you whats to come.

You've come out of one of the hardest and darkest times of your life but I can happily report that despite temptation, you are 3 years clean of self harm so be proud of yourself, you've got this under control. Unfortunately life isn't an easy ride and you will have more difficult times to come but like always you will come out in a better place. Remember to learn the lesson instead of regretting!

Remember to treasure your friendships and continue to make memories that will forever bring a smile to your face when you recall them. Never take friendships for granted as people change, fall outs and make ups happen, you will lose friends and gain new ones. You will soon realise that some friendships are worth fighting for, some are worth letting go and others you have to let go. Oh and that girl who really doesn't like you and you don't like? You two are super close now. Remember friendships and friendship groups inevitably change but half way through your first year at college you will realise there are people who you want and hopefully will be life long friends with. No matter what you do or go through, Chloe is always going to be there for you, she knows you better than anyone, including yourself so never forget to appreciate her and never take her for granted. Don't strive for popularity as it doesn't make you any happier. 

On the subject of college (yes, you do go so stop having worries about not being smart enough to get in as you are!), you will soon discover your identity. Don't worry about any doubts you are experiencing right now, in a few years it'll all become clear so please don't stress. You may find yourself feeling uninspired and doubting yourself but you do get through that and continue to work towards nursing and midwifery. If you find yourself doubting just remember your life aspiration; being well traveled, a wife, mother and head midwife in the LA birthing center. 

Remember to take slow, deep breaths and take as much time as you need to calm down when you have that horrible worrying feeling in your chest. That is called anxiety and soon it will become a big part of your life but you learn how to stop it taking over you life. 

If you love someone, tell them. Whether that is familial, platonic, romantic or whatever, just tell them. If you don't it will eat away at you and drive you crazy. Even if the worst case scenario happens it's not the end of the world and you will deal with it amazingly. Never hind how you feel about anything or anyone. Heartache is a thing but you can get over it. Feeling butterflies is great so embrace your feelings. Wear your heart on your sleeve. 

Stop panicking about those pesky butterflies when you talk to or see certain girls, it's perfectly fine to have crushes on girls. You're gay! and guess what? It's great!

Treasure your time with dad as in a couple of years things just won't be the same and when times get tough you'll look back at these times and smile. Be nicer to mum, she's actually quite understanding and is pretty great. Don't take your step dad for granted, you mean the world to him and secretly you love having him as a permanent father figure in your life. 

Embrace your natural hair, take a tonne of photos, count your blessings instead of your hardships,don't worry about never 'going further' as in a couple of years you do, remember that karma does come back around-both good and bad so be careful, don't be afraid to ask for help, don't dumb yourself down and put on an act, but most importantly, just keep smiling. 

Lots of love, 
yourself, aged 17 1/2
Xxx

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